Internal Struggles
internal struggles.... i asked myself.......
i've been seriously wondering y exactly am i facing this prob, and i've yet to get an ans from anyone....
perhaps since young, i've always been the one trying to solve my own problems, the only one seeking for solutions to all these; to the extent that i'd keep everything to myself (even till now)...
overly independent?! i doubt so!
guess it's the matter of who exactly r the ones i can trust and depend on...
this kind of insecurity has been troubling me all this while.....
God, i wanna come out of it!
i've started to even think that i'm a person with super low self-esteem....
small criticisms & mini actions done can hurt me lots, and eventually, causing me to think lowly of myself..
is it normal for me to be thinking this way????
apart from that...........................
there's always this saying: ALWAYS HAVE THE END IN MIND!
it also means to place our focus on the results and not on the problems, which leads me to start doubting myself..
reason being: when i always have the end in mind, focusing on the process in getting my way there at the same time, it ALWAYS DIDN'T TURN OUT THE WAY IT SHLD HAVE BEEN IN MY MIND!
it just irritates me!
what exactly do i mean?
tests which i actually studied for didn't turn out well...
tests which i think i'll flung them turned out to be alright whereas those i have confidence in didn't turn out well according to my expectations....
worse still, everything which i think it'll happen didn't become a reality and vice versa...
i might as well just keep focusing on the negative in order to achieve the positive?!
it sounds psychotic!
no one would actually think this way!! DEFINITELY NO!
but it is just happening to me right now! OH GOSH!! :(
guess my friends would ask me to pray and leave it up to God to deal with it..
the matter of fact is that it's also happening in my spiritual walk!
i'm really, really going bonkers soon!!! !@#$%^&*
can someone really help me out?!!!!!!!!!!
SHALL KEEP PRAYING TILL MIRACLES HAPPEN! I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I CANNOT DO IT!
11:22 PM